Monday, January 25, 2010

Sorry Again..............

Yep I've Been Away Forever Again. I'm Dealing With A Lot Of Emotional Things Again. My Step Dad Found Out That He Has Lung Cancer. So I Have Been Spending Alot Of Time Trying To Keep Him Up Beat. I Make Dinner For Him Every Night. And Then I Sit And Listen To Him Go On And On. I Know I Have Always Said He Drives Me Crazy. But Now I Listen Because I Know He's Scared. I Feel So Bad For Him. He Decided To Do Chemo And Radiation Therapy. And He's Worried About Losing His Hair. Not That He Had Much. But What He Had Was His. He's Been Already Getting Sick. I Keep Telling Him I Think A Lot Of It Is Nerves. But I Don't Think He's Going To Make It Threw This. I Was So Worried That He Was Going To Go Not Long After My Mom. And It's Been Nine Months And Now To Find Out This. I Just Lost A Friend To Cancer Wednesday And I Had Been Using Her As An Example For My Step Dad. So I Refuse To Let Him Know She Passed Suddenly. I Want To Keep Him Up Beat. Even Though I Am Not.
Then I Have To Deal With My Husband. Who Is So Sick Of Seeing My Step Dad. But Understands Why I'm Doing It. It's Just Hard On Him Cause My Step Dad Wants To Stay Around And Visit And Hubby Is Trying To Sleep. My Step Dad Is The Kind Of Guy That Is Use To Things Being His Way. And So Is Pawlee. So I Have To Keep The Peace There.
My Sister Toni Was Also In The Hospital. With Girl Problems. And They Ended Up Giving Her A Hysterectomy. So She Is Now On The Mend. My Poor Nephew Josh Doesn't Know If He's Coming Or Going. He's Been Checking On My Sister. And Going To All The Treatments With My Step Dad. And In The Middle Of All Of It. He's Still Trying To Have A Life With His Girlfriend. I Just So Feel For Him. I'm Hoping All Of This Doesn't Mess Him Up. So I Have Been Trying To Spend As Much Time As I Can With Him Too.
Well Girls. That Is My Up Date For Now. Hopefully I'll Be Back Sooner Than I Have Been. Please Take Care And Love To All Of You...................

3 comments:

Mike Levinson said...

Hang in there Barb, you have lots of people that love and care about you.

This too will pass......

Valerie said...

Praying for you Barbi! Love you girl and I know it is rough now, just have faith that it will all work out in His time. :)

Marti said...

Hey Barbi,

Happy Birthday, girl !!!

If anyone can make this a happy day through all that's going on, you can.

Do I know your friend who died suddenly of cancer?

I know you are helping Donald. He loves you and you make him feel better, that is why he keeps coming back. He will make it. Josh says it's just the beginning of cancer and is very curable, so he'll be ok once he makes it through the treatments.

Pawlee will also be ok, because of your efforts. I'm just sorry so much is on you when I know your not feeling great yourself.

Josh is strong and he has you and his girlfriend. Brian is also there for him regularly, long distance of course.

Just know that I care, and am always thinking of all of you even though it doesn't seem like it. I've tried emailing you, but didn't get an answer. Calling is hard cause there is just never the right time with my work schedule changing daily.

I hope Toni will be ok. I don't know the details, nor have I heard anything from Brian talking to Josh. I know Toni won't believe it, but I truly hope she is ok. I wish all these hard feelings between us would just go away already. I'm so done with them. The past is the past, time to move on.

If you guys need anything or you just want someone else to talk to, please let me know.

I love you and miss all of you very much.